but here's my two cents: I peruse the classifieds from time to time in my town, and there is a startingly high percentage of married, bicurious women looking for a secondary partner in the W4W section. 1. "I am married and I don't want to change that". Ok, well gays CANNOT get married, so why we'd *want* to change that is beyond me. However, even in my limited experience most ads say something along the lines of "hubby knows, not be there" or "hubby knows, but wants to watch". I (speaking for myself here) cannot and not get involved in someone -'s relationship. Ever. And I'd rather have someone that is not currently involved with someone so I can be selfish and spoil/spend time with them. Why should I have to have, pardon the phrase, sloppy seconds? 2. "fantasize about having sex with a cute/slim/butch". Well that certainly is different. Most ads want a "cute/slim/femme/girly girl" so that when the sex is over they can go catch a latte or somesuch nonsense. I think the main objection (aside from the whole marriage issue) is that experience has taught women to stay far away from the bicurious, married women because it lead to heartbreak. Because experience (from what friends have said, and what I've gathered on here) is that once the sex is over, you're out the door and maybe just maybe there'll be some insistence on "friends only" afterwards. I wish you luck in your search, but I do not hold high hopes in your finding whatever it is you are truly looking for. *my opinion only